We just got back from a 2 week holiday in Ireland a couple of weeks ago.  We are just adjusting our lil routine of things back here in Trinidad.

I am more than appreciative that we have the opportunity we get while living abroad.  I don’t think we would have the ability to do and have all the things we really want if we were still in Ireland.  To be honest we were living in Dublin on the outskirts really living paycheque to paycheque.

It’s nice to visit and really appreciate all the things that are over in Ireland that you really can’t get or have access to while living in the Caribbean.  Things just run smoother over there and there is an abundance of things that are less expensive and easy to get.

The one thing though that I miss the most is the freedom.  This was something I didn’t really see while I lived there and in Canada.  Also I didn’t really care before I had Michaela.  I really saw her blossom this time when we were home.

IMG_0007Playing with the horseys with Daddy.

The things she picked up while she was playing with her cousins outside all day is amazing.  She just doesn’t really get the same opportunity in Trinidad.  It’s just to hot to play outside all day.  She would be sunburnt and covered in sweat.  She loved outside.

I think that is really the main thing she is missing while growing up abroad.  She just doesn’t get the contact with her cousins and seeing they are mostly older she learns so much from them.

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Every night she slept so well because she was outside and playing all day.  And each morning she woke up ready to go outside requesting it as she ate her breakfast.  Are we depriving her of this bond she gets with her family and the freedom she feels being able to play outside all day?

Then the other factor of being away from her Grandparents which I struggle with in general because Michaela may be the 9 grandchild for my in-laws she is my parents first grandchild.  And they really miss so much.  #momguilt

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There is also this abundance of things for kids to do!  Petting zoos, parks, playgrounds, indoor play centres, and on and on.  She was absolutely in love with all the playgrounds and slides.  She loved the slides.

She also loved all the petting zoos and animals she could see and pet.  At the park we stopped every person with a dog so she could squeal in delight and have a little cuddle.  She freaked out when she got to feed the goats at the petting zoo.  We just don’t have the access here.  I feel bad for not being able to have her enjoy those things.

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This is the life of an expat.  It’s so hard when deciding to live your life so far away from your home life with family and friends.  It’s hard bringing you children up in a place they may not have the same opportunities to explore and blossom as they would if you were home in a 1st world country.  These are the decisions you make and live with if you may have chosen wrong.

Now, I am not saying this life is bad because it is not.  If we were living in Ireland I probably would have been back to work at 6 months and someone else would be raising my child.  I would have possibly missed her first word, or step.  I am grateful that I am able to be home and spend all the time with my baby.  And that I get to do the same when baby boy arrives.  It’s just one of the many thoughts that runs through your head as a mom, and parent.

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